Saturday, March 26, 2011

STRESS ANALYSIS

My Mother: Hello....

Me: Hello..

Mother: How are you?

Me: Nothing......test morrow........studying..

Mother: you people have an exam every second day...(and suddenly remembering suicide cases due to exam pressure)..beta..aaram se paper dena...exam hi hai...



I don't have much idea about evaluation process in other universities, but in BITS, we follow continuous evaluation process which is collection of specially designed tasks over a period of time to test knowledge, understanding and skills attained by pupils. But to me, it is the check of patience, frustration and ability to hog through the night.

But i am not gonna talk about its advantages and disadvantages,but rather an interesting story of one of my exams.

Time: 5:00 PM
15 hours before my Mechanics of Solids paper(affectionately it is called as MOS)

Place: Road near Children's park.

I am happily chatting with a girl(whom unfortunately i liked). Considering my little knowledge in this subject, and already mountain full of av- on my head, ideally i should be studying this subject with all artificial zeal, i could generate. But you know, dil ka mamla hai...

Girl: Have you finished??

Me: (like dhoni, undecided till last moment wheather to play or leave the ball): Ummm.....yeah..sort of...only last chapter left..

Girl: Niceeee..

Me: Actually....I am blessed by three Gods living in front of me: God Sri Ram, God Vinayak and God Shiv.. They teach me..

(yes really....i am not joking..my three neighbours share their names with Gods.. but we refer to them rather as "kamina sriram", and rest i cannot not write..there is a report abuse button ;)

Girl: Ok....i have a little problem with Bending Moment Diagram..help me..

Me: Actually.........i have left this chapter only......

Our conversation lasted for 5 hours with all hope of my recovery cremated. And you know, Boys can never say, "ok..going to study.." because pata nahi, fir chance mile na mile..test ka kya hai..aate jate rehte hain....you know continuous evaluation process.



Time: 2:30 AM
 Venue:Hostel room
7 hours before exam.

My corridor is silent, occasionally that killing lull is broken by hanuman chalisa played by Mishra Ji. (another of my neighbours) By the way, this ongoing Test 2, Mishra ji has updated his exam time playlist with remix version of hanuman chalisa and durga ji ki aarti..

Suddenly a loud commotion breaks and sound of hustle-bustle starts coming. This sound forces me to take a peek outside. Midas comes, half panting..he says," harsh..you want to see 3-d glasses"...."Roly brought it....."

I give a look at  the diagram, i am feeding upon..and then say," hmm......lets go...u tried.???."

"nahi re....so many people in the queue........"

As soon as i entered in Roly's room....there was a 3d glass, but the movie............

Later, i was informed that the acclaimed 4 GB avtaar 3d print available on DC wasnt the 3d one..(now you know which 3d movies are left on DC)

Time: 9:15 AM
Venue: Examination Hall

I am doing desperate attempts with my calculator to find a meaningful number to write, but always ending up with stress value on beam of building in nanoNewton...

Time: 9:30 AM

Exam finishes.

I remember my mother's word."beta, aaram se dena...exam hi hai.."



Monday, March 21, 2011

Game Over: Press Enter to Restart :D

"you are not the kind of guy, I always dreamt of", girl said and looked at the bright neon light displaying Coca Cola in familiar Loki font.

And Slim Shady thought," sab film ka asar hai... isko lagta hai ki background me violin bajega, hawa chalegi... bullshit."

Slim Shady: Its ok. I dont have any problem. Everyone has one's own choice.

Girl: I don't really mean to hurt you but you know.....know...i can't give my 100% to this relationship.
Slim Shady: What else can i say!!!

Girl: You are a nice guy. You can get a better girl.

Slim Shady (to himself): "koi nahi mila, tab to tere paas aaya" (to girl): hmm.......but you will never find a boy like me.

Girl: tere jaisa chahiye bhi to nahi. I dont want a guy like you otherwise why should i "reject".......err....i mean leave you.

Slim Shady has now lost all his hope and in despair started spilling over all emotional dialogue, he remembered so far.

Slim Shady: One day you will climb all the ladder of success and that day you will not have a single person to cherish the success.

Girl: Why?? My family is not running anywhere. Aren't they enough??

Slim Shady: oohh..yes.........in fact they are. I was talking of someone special.

Girl: you mean..special "Like you".... i am happy celebrating single..  Well... You should be irritated of me..2 years of hopeless effort.

Slim Shady(trying to be filmy emotional, in a deep grave voice): hmm.......your irritation soothes me somehow...

Slim Shady(resorted to last weapon): In the two year, i lost many girl as i had no one except you anywhere in my mind.

Girl(to herself): ek to hogi nahi... confidence se jhuth bol raha hai..(to Slim Shady): ok..and who they are?

Slim Shady: uumm...None of your business..leave it......

Girl: No..no...at least i should know, how much you sacrificed for me!!!

Slim Shady: puja....

Girl(interrupting in between): Pujaa....my friend..i will try to talk to her regarding you..

Slim Shady( looks like i am in trap): Arrey no......I was talking of girl who used to roam with puja.........

Girl(phas gaya kamina): Anyways...........you recollect her name........tell me then....now......i am going to nesci.......Vijay is waiting for me...

Later in the day, Slim Shady is found addressing the gathering of 25 esteemed "still single" friends.

Slim Shady: Arrey....i am feeling very light now............Because of this girl, I was not getting a better looking girl than her...It was like i was in jail..and i am free now........ great feeling you know........

All(in chorus): Treeeeat...................chal NC chal................

Slim Shady: Abe mere account me 32 rupaye hai..*

(*Last line is the favourite excuse of Slim Shady to us.........not to girls ;)










Thursday, March 17, 2011

Why Jeson Likes Pink???

To all those who don't know, there are two halls in BITS-Goa, which serve food to 2000 people. The dishes which they prepare are not found in any other part of the world or may be what they serve is the distorted version of cuisines relished by others. Those two areas are popularly known as A-mess and C-mess. At the start of every month, every student is allowed to select either of the two messes depending on convenience. Now, that convenience includes proximity to girl's hostel, for some demons; proximity to library, and at last the quality of food. But this post is not about the food there but a sacred, pious love story of Jeson and A-mess staffs.


A-mess Sign Board

Perhaps, their love started much earlier but now jalim jamana knows about this. And as always jalim jamana is against their love. Here's is the conversation of two commoners.


Rusty: Bhaijaan!!! You heard about Jeson..

Bhaijaan: hmm....campus is buzzing with his tales.. Perhaps the trauma of two year "girl deprived" torture..

Rusty: Even then...Mess people!!! He should have thought about our prestige, if not his.. How can i even go to Mongi with him... People give such dirty looks.......

Bhaijaan: Koi nahi...apne galti karte hai to usko galti nahi kehte.. Let's accept the reality.. Its not his fault only..haven't you noticed the pink uniform of A-mess guys??


Pink Uniform (A mess staff)

Rusty: Jeson too is to be blamed..Why did he take undue favour from them? He gets 4 pieces of chicken when rule says 2. He gets 3 sweets when other get only 2.

Bhaijaan: arrey, even yesterday, the whole pink army was surrounding us and Jeson was giving them smile.

Rusty: Aur tab bhi bhaijaan, He goes to mess in his erotic red shorts.. Apparently, the whole mess goes crazy with the first sight of that shorts. Bhaijaan, if you remember, there was special lunch on his birthday..

Bhaijaan; You are such ignorant, even the mess option of Jeson is already selected..obviously A-mess.

Rusty: Bhaijaan..I have information that there is a big portrait of Jeson in A-mess office and all staff fold their hands before him before starting day's proceedings and during night..you know what...............

Bhaijaan: Stop it!! I cant listen to it any longer. Lets get him a girl. Call him..I'll talk to him.

Bhaijaan: Hey Jeson...We were thinking that you need a girl. Why don't you try to put an advertisement? Design it. I'll publish it.

Jeson: OK..I'll try.

The next day following advertisement was published ;) Click on it to enlarge.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Why Midas is still single? :P

Scene 1:
One fine afternoon, when sun was at its greatest anger and half of the people in my hostel were still asleep after an early morning movie show* or Counter Strike session, without any lust for attendance/quiz marks. Some one banged on my door.

Midas: Harsh...Harsh..

Me: Yeah..am coming.....

Midas: Naina too gone. I found her with that spike haired guy.

Me: What's new with this? Everytime it happens with you. By the way, who told you to go to class. If you had missed the class, you would have missed that heart breakng scene too.

Midas: Arey no...I went for the new teaching assistant. 4th year...i guess.

Me: hmm....

Midas: We should do something, otherwise our college life will pass without girl.

Me: If you are so much after a girl, you should have better opted for History or some literature major.

Midas: Ok..i made the mistake.. See..we tried everything.. We talked in the way girls like, acted as they     expect us to.. but nothing seems to work for us. So i have a better idea. This will act psycologically on girls.

Me: hmm...so what's your new crap??

Midas: See..the next time.. We gonna propose a girl.. We will first call her to some place far from their hostel, lets say Ice n spice. Now, as usual the girl will ask for some time to answer. (yeah..Its rude to refuse the boy instantaneously..Girls you know are caring) Now, we will have our guys on the way from Ice n Spice to her hostel. Our guys will talk about us like " Midas is a nice guy"; "he debates so well"; "He plays violin and his badminton is awsome". Listening to this, the girl can't refuse our proposal. You see, our plan will work..

Me: hmm..nice..Let me sleep now...

Midas: No.. I am going to propose Naina today..

Me: What!!! Today!!

Midas: Call Slim-Shady, Jadu, Pikachu, Feynman. We will chalk out a plan at evening.

Me: Hmm..ok

At evening, we planned every minute details, right from colour of Midas's shirt to Slim's capri.



Scene 2:
Next day, Midas proposed the girl at historic Ice n Spice which must have witnessed 100-200 proposes and subsequent rejections. Banana Shake has been the loyal friend of rejected lovers.

At 9 pm, Midas ordered 2 banana shakes.

Midas: Since a few days, i am feeling high waves of emotion about you. Er..Er....I feel very happy in your company...I can't save myself from your eyes..they are so attractive..i feel i am in love..

After the first word of Midas, the girl became conscious of banana shake.

Girl: yeah..So who is the lucky girl?

As if Midas was instructing a word problem to her.

Midas(looking to the other side): That's you...

5 minutes lull...Girl took some time to finish the shake.

Girl: I need some time...

Midas was prepared for this sentance.

On her way back to her hostel, she was bound to meet our scripted characters. The way to the girls hostel passes through Nescafe, Hostel CH1, C mess..

Scene 3:
Place: Outside Nescafe
Description: Slim Shady standing with Jadu.

Jadu: Slim, get ready.. She is coming... You remember your dialogue right..

Slim: Yeah.. I am prepared..

Slim(to himself): Jai Eminem.. you get one chance..one opportunity..to sieze everything.....................

Jadu: 1.......2...........3..go go go.......

Slim: Jadu, you know..Midas is very saintly.....He watches only soft ones....today only downloaded from my share......

Jadu: Shut up..you are not supposed to say these..

Slim: Its ok..Its common...but then too he avoids....great lad, Midas..

The girl gave a look, which made Slim feel that he had done his job...

Slim: We were great. Weren't we??

Jadu: Ghantu ke..tel le le ....God and Naina only know.

Scene 4:
Pikachu and Feynman standing outside C-mess.

Pikachu: Feynman..Start..All the best..

Feynman: Pika, u know...what Midas did, when he went to play violin at his school??

Pikachu: No..What he did?

Feynman: He forgot to bring the bow..(btw bow is used to play violin..you remeber..stick like thing)

Pikachu(in a low voice): Abe saste kyun maar raha hain...

Feynman: It was to acknowledge her that he plays violin..(in a loud tone)..He goes to every class..sometimes without brushing too..such a wonderful boy...


If Midas has 0.01% probablity  of "yes", after so much of praise..he lost that too..
Midas is still single and working on a new plan for a new target. ;)


*early morning show means watching NORMAL movies at 4 am. Please give your dirty mind some rest.




Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Kings of Territories

We make the world we live in and shape our own environment.
Above words by Orison Swett Marden, find great significance in our daily affairs. An another version of the same idea can be stated. Every one of us creates our own territory where we are the king. Now, for a king to rule, there should be some people to be ruled. Since we, the king,  make our own territory, we select our own people to live there. These people are those exclusive people whom we confide and believe that these person will be always there for us, no matter what the situation is. Great....OK!!!

Now, the miseries of life start with our own territory which was essentially designed with sole intention of comfort. Expectation; root of many problems. Keeping someone in our territory doesn't guarantee our presence in their territory, and here lies our weakness to accept this truth. It frustrates when our 100% commitment doesn't give the output we expect. But we cant control everything, we are not so important to them as they are to us. So, be it, and why we forget that we too are in territory of some people who require us. Rather than to cry for those people, why not raise a toast for those who keep us in their territory. Doesn't sound convincing? Fear: This one word is enemy of mankind perhaps since the inception. USA bombed Iraq because of the alleged fear for weapons of mass destruction. Many a time, we fear of loosing our territory people to some other people and then out of this fear, we develop hate to those "some" people. Here, i suppose this territory is transitory. Though we believe, that our territory people are indispensable for us, in reality its not true. Our territory keep on evolving based on our needs and circumstances. People who were important to us 5 years back, are not now. Though certainly, some people can never be out of the territory and those people require extra care. Winning the fear requires preparation for all the outcomes, be it the best or the worst, we ought to stand tall amongst.


At times, our territory people do things which we don't expect them to do. And we become more judgemental on their inclusion to the territory. Before we are ready to throw them off, we should give our piece of mind to the traits because of which they are important to us. Everyone has evolved with some faults. Let's accept them as they are, because the changed one will not be the one we relied before.
                                          
                                Gaining someone is never easy. Losing it is.

(**My 50th post.. \m/)





Sunday, March 6, 2011

History, glory and gems

You go through traumatic days; and you wonder why the things go as they are going. You loose one precious gem and in desperational calls to fill that vacuum; suddenly you realise, you have created another gem. Then you see the jealousy and you wonder is it worth that. Days of confusion wrap you in unprecedented era of thoughts and you begin questioning yourself.

You question yourself and fight with your own history and existence. Your history stops you from marching ahead because that is not a glorious one. But suddenly rises the Titan in you and orders you to write your own glory. Of course, some people inherit it but then some one was reason for their pomp. Your Titan says cowards are part of history and brave creates it. Rather strange, but true.

And the things you lose, for the reason that you haven't had pompous history; they will be compensated with honour and esteem. Sometimes, the path in front of you is hazy and you are left with dilemma of decision. May be that path leads you to nirvana, or may be you are left all alone once again. Then you curse the moment when you come close to that path, so much so that you developed addiction to it. Addiction; most of the time has negative influence and clinging to this thought gives the glimpses of your decision.

Many people advocate the power of time and admire its decision making abilities. Most certainly, time is infinite in all respect; anyone who defies its vastness, strength, power shrinks to ground. We have many examples with us. Every mighty empire witnesses its end after its time. But sometime, you have to sneak past it to prepare for your future, just to add longevity to your life. As far as your heart is concerned, someone affirmed yesterday the philosophy of 3 idiots. You need to solace your heart that "Aal is well" and our heart believes it like a 5 year old child believes whatever anyone says to him without any logic as our doesn't have its own mind for the required skill of reasoning to defy our words.

Later you may feel that you chose a wrong path but that is so because then you are in comfortable situation. And often, you are too biased. Believing and listening those things which you always want to believe and to listen. However it all take some time to digest and certainly it not so delicious as it looks to gorge upon. But in a long run it might make sense.