Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Gaja - The Bangalore traffic diary

Gaja.

Do you know Gaja?

I doubt you do. Gaja is a rebel. He stands for everything that is not socially accepted. Don't believe me? Tell me who negotiates with the car driver in the Bangalore traffic jam and asks him to pull back his car by 15 mm so that Gaja could guide his bike in that narrow space. And where does that narrow space lead to? It goes to the left most edge of the road where he can diligently glide through between the feet-tall footpath and the column of cars. Gaja doesn't have a helmet. His bike has bruises, possibly it has encountered other Gajas over time. His bike is a slave. It's dolled up with cheap decorations. Take the tail lamp, for instance, it has a black sheet covering with "GAJA" cut out in Calibri. It has Mahesh Babu's picture on the front mud guard. But these decorations fail to hide the cuts and scratches. The graphics of TVS are sliced possibly with some rogue truck's dangling parts. One can only guess.

Gaja is not reckless. He is careful to wear shoes. Once an auto drove over his toe, and mind you, the auto driver turned back, realized his mistake, spit a cough on the road and apologized in the most unapologetic voice ever. Gaja forgave him. Gaja has heart of gold. He knows such things happen on a crowded road. That's just the part of life. That auto driver shares the same traffic cutting attitude as Gaja does. Everything is fair in traffic and on road.

This traffic cutting skill has more takers than engineers in India.

"We have enough of them", told a startup founder sipping tea and hiding his cigarette from the police car, when asked about hiring engineers.

"The real MVPs are the traffic cutters. The whole food delivery industry relies on this. Oh! And Gaja, he is an asset. He had more people bidding to hire him than Ishant Sharma in IPL auction", he further delved into the topic.

Meanwhile, the Police has deployed their speed interceptor vans to record the speed of Gaja.

"We are tired of catching speed violators and people riding pillion without helmet.", a traffic cop was quoted.

"Our job is very monotonous. Everyday is the same. We don't have exciting work culture here. Amidst this, Gaja is a fresh, happy change. We want to add Gaja's name to Limca book of records for maximum speed in Bangalore traffic",  he further added.

The traffic light was still red but Gaja; he was not stopping or stick to check his phone or look for the hoardings that say you need just Rs. 6999 to get into your boss's shoes. Well, My boss wears 200 bucks Bata slipper. Bitch Please. Gaja is speeding. He is at his destination. The traffic light is yet to get green.

Oh, Gaja. You beauty.


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