Incomplete,Undecided...(A Great Dilemma)
Recently three incidents (sorry accidents) happened that i can't take my attention off them.
1. There is a guy, who got Average+16(in our lingo, its called 'av') in one exam. When we got our answer sheets back, he overwrote on an answer for 2 more marks. Unfortunately, he got caught and got 'Registration Cancelled' in that course.
2. Another student, he made a false output file when he was unable to get a correct program in our programming test. Teacher caught him. He started crying, not for his mistake but for two more marks.
3. One student got Average-1 marks. While checking his evaluated paper, he found one of his question wrongly corrected. He was given marks for one wrong answer. He went back to teacher pointing the same. (Teacher doesn't cut his marks :)
I won't comment on correctness of any one's act because i don't have necessary qualification for that. Because if i were av-15 and then somewhere i get marks for wrong answer, my morale is under doubt. But certainly these acts disturb me. Many a times, i wonder,"Is this for i am here?"
When i started here, i was never concerned about my marks. I thought its OK as long as i understand the subject. But now, there is a big change in me, I am getting good marks but at the same point I am thinking of the methods to get more marks. Earlier, my thrust was how this circuit works? Why people made it? Now i think,"They will ask questions to calculate current in this circuit. Let's mug up how to solve this." Another experience, i had av-10 in one subject and i decided not to study that because even though i'll study it, i will get a 'C' grade again. This is an example of loser's attitude, I have. It's really very shameful. Indeed, my CG is increasing, everybody is happy, my parents, friends, everyone. But everyday, I question myself,"Is this correct?". And always there are two Harsh answering and I am unable to decide whom should i listen to and why. The first of two people, i mentioned in start are above 8 CG and the third one has below average CG (6.1). Why the first two people did that sort of act? May be because they have to live up to their status(here, people's status and reputation is decided on the basis of CG) or because they have to please their parents. And reason for the last one, just because he has a low CG, one more 'D' grade doesn't make a difference or because he has a low CG, his parents don't have any expectation from him. I have no clue about their motives, but these reasons look like some possible answers.
I again say that i can't comment who is right and who is wrong because i am not in a position to do so. But now when i am gradually learning to get marks, i feel incomplete and more vulnerable to my motives and my knowledge.